The spoon: A lesson on how consultants can make a difference in an organization.
Last week, we took some friends to a new restaurant, 'Steve's Place,' and noticed that the waiter who took our order carried a spoon in his shirt pocket.
It seemed a little strange. When the busboy brought our water and utensils, I observed that he also had a spoon in his shirt pocket.
Then I looked around and saw that all the staff had spoons in their pockets. When the waiter came back to serve our soup I inquired, 'Why the spoon?'
'Well, 'he explained, 'the restaurant's owner hired Andersen Consulting to revamp all of our processes. After several months of analysis, they concluded that the spoon was the most frequently dropped utensil. It represents a drop frequency of approximately 3 spoons per table per hour.
If our personnel are better prepared, we can reduce the number of trips back to the kitchen and save 15 man-hours per shift.'
As luck would have it, I dropped my spoon and he replaced it with his spare. 'I'll get another spoon next time I go to the kitchen instead of making an extra trip to get it right now.' I was impressed.
I also noticed that there was a string hanging out of the waiter's fly.
Looking around, I saw that all of the waiters had the same string hanging from their flies. So, before he walked off, I asked the waiter, 'Excuse me, but can you tell me why you have that string right there?'
'Oh, certainly!' Then he lowered his voice. 'Not everyone is so observant. That consulting firm I mentioned also learned that we can save time in the restroom.
By tying this string to the tip of our you-know-what, we can pull it out without touching it and eliminate the need to wash our hands, shortening the time spent in the restroom by 76.39%.
I asked quietly, 'After you get it out, how do you put it back?'
'Well,' he whispered, 'I don't know about the others, but I use the spoon.'
Before
After
Nahihirapan akong mag-isip ngayon. (May isip ba ako?) Wala akong maisulat na maganda. (Kailan ba ako nakapagsulat ng maganda?) Kaya ang isusulat ko na lang muna ngayon ay mga usapang narinig ko na nagbigaw ng kiliti sa aking kilikili. Medyo natawa ako dahil sa kanilang katang. Oo. Crab, katang. Katang*han. Hehehe. Peace. Katang sa mga pagbanggit ng tamang letra.
Ang Kasagutan...
Lalaki: “Kung mahuhulog ako, at ang pagbabagsakan ko ay may kasamang tinik, iindahin ko ang sakit na tutusok sa’kin basta handa lang niya akong sambutin.”Babae: “Kung masasaktan ka lang sa pagbagsak mo dun sa may tinik na ‘yun, bakit hindi ka na lang humanap ng ibang pagbabagsakan na walang tinik?”Lalaki: “Kung ikaw ba? Saan mo mas gugustuhing bumagsak? Sa alam mo ngang may tinik at masasaktan ka pero doon ka naman masaya? O doon sa may mababango at magagandang bulaklak, na hindi ka nga masasaktan sa pagbasak, pero may allergy ka pala sa amoy ng mga ‘yun?”Babae: Eh paano naman nasangkot ang bulaklak dito?Lalaki: Cactus kasi ‘yung may tinik eh, hehehe.Babae: “Hanggang kailan mo kayang humawak? Hanggang kailan mo kayang bumitin? Kailan ka babagsak?”Lalaki: “Kahit isang daliri ko na lang ang nakahawak, hindi pa rin ako bibitaw, hangga’t hindi pa handa ang babagsakan ko, para sambutin ako.”Babae: Paano kung mangawit ka?Lalaki: “Kung mangangawit ako, at hindi pa siya handa para sumambot, ibabalik ko ang apat kong daliri para kumapit ng mahigpit, at kung hindi pa rin kakayanin, may isa pa akong kamay. Kakapit at maghihintay.”
Lalaki: “Ikaw ang CACTUS ko!!!”
Babae: “SKY DIVER!“
Thursday, August 9th, 2007
We’ ve been friends for a long time ago. We come from the same alma mother. Actually, our paths crossed one time on another. But it’s only now that I gave him a second look. I realized that beauty is in the eyes. The pulpbits of my heart went fast, really fast. Cute pala siya. And then, he came over with me. He said, “I hope you don’t mine. Can I get your number?” Nag-worry ako. What if he doesn’t give it back? He explained naman na it’s so we could keep intact daw. Sabi ko, connect me if i’m wrong but are you asking me ouch? Nabigla siya. Sagot niya, The! Aba! Parang siya pa ang galit! Persona ingrata!!! Ang kapal niya! I cried buckles of tears.
Na-guilty yata siya. Sabi niya, isipin mo na lang na this is a blessing in the sky. Irregardless daw of his feelings, we’ll go ouch na rin. Now, we’re so in love. Mute and epidemic na ang past. Thanks God we swallowed our fried. Kasi, I’m 33 na and I’m running our time. After 2 weeks, he plopped the question. “Will you marriage me?” I’m in a state of shocked. Kasi mantakin mo, when it rains, it’s four! This is true good to be true. So siyempre, I said yes. Love is a many splendor.
Pero nung inaayos ko na ang aming kasal, everything swell to pieces. Nag-di-dinner kami noon nang biglang sa harap ng aming table, may babaeng humirit ng, “Well, well, well. Look do we hav e here.” What the fuss! The nerd ng babaeng yon! She said they were still on. So I told her, whatever is that, cut me some slacks! I didn’t want this to get our hand kaya I had to sip it in the bud. She accused me of steeling her boyfriend. Ats if! I don’t want to portrait the role of the other woman. Gosh, tell me to the marines! I told her, “please, mine you own business!” Who would believe her anyway?
Dahil it’s not my problem anymore but her problem anymore, tumigil na rin siya ng panggugulo. Everything is coming up daisies. I’m so happy. Even my boyfriend said liketwice. He’s so supportive. Sabi niya, “Look at is this way. She’s our of our lives.”
Kaya advise ko sa inyo - take the risk. You can never can tell. Just burn the bridge when you get there. Life is shorts. If you make a mistake, we’ll just pray for the internal and external repose of your soul. I second emotion.
Host: Anong "S" ang ginagamit na flotation device sa dagat upang hindi ka malunod? (Salbabida)
Host: Saang "B" binaril si Jose Rizal? (Bagumbayan)
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